If you have ever had a pet (or companion animal, whatever term you like), you

Tootsie Wootsie Dog
can understand me.
Yesterday, I said goodbye to one of the greatest loves of my life, my Beagle-Basset Tootsie Wootsie (aka, “Doot Da-Do”). She has been my best friend for 11 years, and I have spent the last night and today wishing that I could return to so many of the times I spent with her.
I became vegetarian the same year that Tootsie entered my life.
We got Tootsie one stormy night (July 12, 2000 according to my memory). We were attending my little sister’s softball game, and there was a young boy there

Toots and her girl
leading around a clumsy Beagle-Basset puppy with a piece of baling twine. After I spent the entire game cooing over the puppy, the boy’s grandfather told us that they had more at home in the barn. So we followed them home in a torrential downpour and ran to the barn between lightning flashes to discover a wriggly pile of puppies. They wanted $75 for a puppy. We had about $38. But since I wanted the runt, a little brown and white girl, $38 was good enough. From that moment, Tootsie was my dog.
I have spent almost half of the years of my life with Tootsie. She was my friend
through some difficult times, which included long nights of studying, and years of illness. She took care of me as much as I took care of her, and I don’t just mean emotionally. (I have an adrenal deficiency, and Tootsie could sense when I needed to take my medicine. Many times, I would fall asleep on the

Helping me study
couch, neglecting to take my bedtime medication, and she would trot in, nudging me until I woke up. She would sit awake with me until about 20 minutes after I took my medicine, and when it seemed I was OK, she would drag her sleepy doggie butt back to her bed.)
We learned less than two weeks ago that Tootsie’s heart was failing. She suddenly began having pain and swelling that kept her in bed. My mom took her to the vet while I was at work, and called me on the way home to explain the situation. I recall being slapped by the fact that this is what would end my time with my best friend.
On Sunday, I returned from a weekend vacation with Eric. Tootsie didn’t get up when we pulled into the driveway, and it was clear that she was not going to be OK. I sat on the floor with her, she put her head in my hands, and we sat until my parents arrived. My dad told me that she had had a great day–she had been running around, barking, playing, eating.
Tootsie went to sleep peacefully, her head in my hands, on her favorite bed. She appeared to feel no pain, but for me it has been one of the most painful

Keeping guard
moments ever.
Before losing Tootsie on Sunday, I got engaged on Friday. I almost feel like she hung on until she knew that someone else had promised to take care of me.
You don’t have to be a vegetarian or a vegan to relate to this story. Many (probably most) people have loved a dog or cat, maybe a rabbit or bird. But I can’t differentiate between those animals we keep as companions and those we use for food. I know that many people have never met a cow or a pig or a chicken, and therefore may not understand that these “farm” animals can develop the personalities and quirks that our household dog

Tootsie and her buddy Gus
and cat companions exhibit. But as a girl raised on a farm, I do recognize that commonality. And now, I could not use a chicken for food any sooner than I could have used Tootsie. My friendship with Tootsie helped lead me from vegetarianism into veganism, a lifestyle I adopted in an effort to remove myself from animal suffering as much as possible.
If Tootsie Wootsie’s life meant just one thing (though in reality, it meant many things to me), it would be that she influenced my compassion for all animals. She has helped save whatever creatures haven’t suffered for me. I think that’s a great record for an 11-year-old Beagle-Basset runt.
I miss you like mad, Tootsie Wootsie Dog. I’ll continue to miss you. You changed my life, and I’m thankful for 11 years of joy that you brought. I pray you have plenty of empty paper towel rolls to tear to pieces and mail carriers to bark your brains out about.
-xoxoxoxo